I entered Miracle House on December 27, 2007 for drug addiction to prescription pills. By the time I entered Miracle House, I had lost everything in my life including my family, home, car and belongings. I have 2 grown daughters, 5 grandchildren, 2 brothers and 2 sisters (one sister who went through Miracle House successfully 15 years ago). My addiction became everything to me. I isolated myself from my family and friends. I managed to keep my job at a big pharmaceutical company and other large corporations. I met and married my second husband and he had diabetes. Things went along well until the diabetes started down a path I couldn’t have imagined. I continued to work and take care of him with very little help as the disease progressed and he died. At first I started using anti-anxiety meds as directed by doctors and when doctors started to refuse re-fills, I “doctored shopped”, I ordered on-line and discovered Mexico as sources. My disease escalated. Because I was spending all my money on drugs, I lost my home and first moved in with one daughter who put up with me for as long as she could stand it. My other daughter took me in which was short-lived. Later on I found out they were trying to do an intervention the only way they knew how. My daughter made me leave. I was on foot, it was December and cold. I took the bus to the fire station where I knew my son-in-law was on duty. There was a bench across the street and I just sat there. My moment of clarity happened at 3:00 a.m. that night. I have since found out my daughters were looking for me and finally went to bed because they knew if anything happened to me, my son-in-law would be the first one to know. I know how hard that must have been for my family, but it truly turned out to be (in retrospect) the best night of my life.
The next day I went to my daughter’s house and there was a message that Miracle House had called and wanted me to be there in 30 minutes for an interview. I begged my daughter to get me from Santa Barbara to Ventura right then. I told her I was afraid I was going to die. I arrived at Miracle House with a bag of few clothes, no drugs and wondered how they were going to make me not use drugs. I thought my life was over and death was near. All I could think of were the drugs. I sat on the couch and looked up at the 12 steps on the wall (which I had forgotten about) and thought “oh, that’s how they’re going to do it”. I felt the most incredible sense of peace overwhelm my entire body. I was 59 years old. I was sick, addicted, homeless and estranged from my family.
Through the structure, the drug education, my wonderful counselor, a therapist that I still hold in high esteem, the meetings and staff members I felt safe. I began working the 12 steps and began to have hope again.
My father-in-law and my beloved brother died of cancer while I was in Miracle House and I got through it by “being present” physically and emotionally and without drugs. When I completed the program, my entire family was present at Miracle House. I transitioned to sober living. I volunteered over 300 hours to Miracle House and was hired by Miracle House to work at our administrative office and as a House Manager on weekends. I worked hard to get my drivers license back, bought a car and most importantly my grandchildren will not have to see their grandmother loaded again. My daughters have accepted me back into their lives. None of this came back quickly. I prayed to my higher power do the next indicated thing. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor, I work the steps and I pray a lot.
There are still challenges and it’s not easy, but the tools are there. Miracle House saved my life.