THE THIRST FOR WHOLENESS

AND ADDICTION

By RobertMittiga

(Program Director GATS Counselling & TreatmentServices)

At one time oranother, most of us feel some degree of emptiness, loneliness, inadequacy,idealism, or spiritual longing.   Werecognise the discontent, the desire to escape pain, and the tendency to seekanswers in activities, substances, or relationships. This sense of restlessnessand the spiritual longing is familiar to many of us. Over the many years oftreating addiction and co-dependency I have heard many people talk about anon-specific hunger for something that seems to be missing in their lives.   They describe a gnawing emptiness withinthat is never filled.   This insistentstirring from within is so intense that it can, at times, be painful.  It seems to originate at one’s very core, andfor some of us, it feels even stronger than our sexual drive or our hunger forfood.  

I was aware ofit as a child, and I tried somehow to fill it by spending hours and hoursplaying pinball machines and snooker, watching television and listening tomusic on my transistor radio, or participating in sports. I struggled with itas a teenager, I felt it as a young adult when I looked at a particularlymagnificent painting, read an eloquent poem, or watched an exquisitedance.  And it manifested during amultitude of other restive moments. The pit of my stomach felt empty, my hearthurt, and my entire being aspired toward something I could not identify. As Igrew, the ache in my soul increasingly permeated all aspects of my life.  I felt monumentally homesick for somethingundefined, for an unnamed entity, place, or experience. Nothing I did seemed toalleviate the yearning within me.

There are, I amsure, some fortunate people who feel this longing but do not act upon it inpainful ways.  However, many peopleidentify the spiritual yearning as a persistent voice in their lives, one theyoften confuse with their everyday aspirations. At first, they identify it asthe desire to excel on the playing field, to develop their intellect, to getinto the right university, or to meet the man or woman of their dreams.   Perhaps they feel an overwhelming cravingfor a certain model of car, for a new outfit, or for sexual contact.

Thisfundamental appetite might manifest in the abuse of food, alcohol, nicotine, orother drugs.   Some people feel a generaldissatisfaction in their marriage and find themselves longing for somethingmore:  a new house, a baby, a significantchange in their partner’s behaviour, or a completely different relationship.They feel discontented, as though something is lacking.  Perhaps more money would bring happiness, ora better social position, or a new job.

I loved my wifeand kids, was satisfied with my business, and felt reasonably good about myaccomplishments.  But something wasmissing.  I found myself thinking aboutmoving to another state or country and even trying another line of business. Isoon began to gamble too much, as well as abuse various mood altering drugs.  After a while, I realized that none of thosethings would help my feelings of emptiness, and in fact, they had begun tocause more problems than they would solve. I felt stuck.”

The irony is,no external activities or substances satisfy the initial craving or thefeelings of emptiness. Many people attain the object of their desire, and theincessant ache remains.  One person maywin the lotto or player-of-the-year award for football, another earn anadvanced degree from a prestigious university. Someone else might capture the heart of a perfect mate, make enoughmoney, and live in the style he or she has always wished for.  Yet, even in the midst of the bounty that ismeant to bring satisfaction and fulfilment, the yearning persists, perhaps evenmagnified by the achievements, which only remind us of the emptiness within. Manyrecovering addicts and alcoholics report that once the physical craving for thedrug or behaviour is eliminated, a deeper craving still remains.

As a culture,we do not have many sanctioned frame-works in which to deeply experience andsatisfy the yearning for wholeness.  As aresult, people of all ages distort and misdirect this immensely strong impulseinto addictions of all kinds, and co-dependency, not only addictions involvingthe use of chemicals (alcohol & drugs), but also eating disorders, sexualand love addictions, and addictions to power, money, relationships, gambling,and countless other addictive activities.

What is thisfree-floating yearning? I believe that Jung was right. This intense and attimes painful craving is deep thirst for our own wholeness, our spiritualidentity, our divine source, or God.

This place of wholeness we seekis our spiritual core, an essential component of our nature.  Development of a relationship with this innersource is a common, and necessary, aspect of human existence. I believe thatthis thirst for wholeness is the main driving force in the ever increasingrates of addiction in our society. Unless this factor is addressed in recoveryand addiction treatment, the individual is always going to remain at high riskof relapse or in danger of switching addictions. Simply stopping our addictivebehaviours or replacing them with legal substitute drugs is not enough anddoesn’t work.

Robert Mittiga

Program Director

GATS Counselling & Treatment Services

P.O. Box 6411 Halifax Street SAAUSTRALIA 5000

Ph 08 8367 0057 (7days)

Website www.gatscounselling.com

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