Posted by: KenP in treatment center, Step 1, Sponsoring men, rehab facility, recovery community, recovery, Men, Meetings, Masculinity, alcoholism, Al-Anon, addiction recovery on
Oct 30, 2007
needs to be made. Men born before about 1950 have much greater difficulty surrendering to the disease of alcoholism. We were raised by fathers who knew first hand the experiences of the Great Depression and WWII. These men lived through circumstances that forced them to mature to self-sufficiency very early, and therefore they had little sympathy for "cry-babies." A man does not do the following: cry, complain, ask for help, admit defeat, or quit...ever.
Al-Anon is so absolutely the opposite of our upbringing, that it is TERRIBLY difficult for some men to unlearn their early training.
Because of this early conditioning, after all of the "John Wayne" modeling, a man over fifty taking the first step has to have reached a bottom that has ripped all personal self esteem from him. The first step says;
"We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable."
I have sponsored many men during the years, and I can tell you that these men tried everything imaginable to "manage" an alcoholic wife. They spent sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatment centers, begged and pleaded, sought out countless counselors, called the police, and hauled their wives to the offices of one physician after another as their wives' bodies deteriorated from the inexorably slow physical and mental decline caused by swallowing alcohol.
If you are such a man, or know one, just direct them to Al-Anon. There this "john Wayne" man will learn to listen, contemplate, accept help, grow, and overcome his early conditioning. We guarantee that he will not become less manly!
Call: 1-888-4AL-ANON or access: www.al-anon.alateen.org