We have all heard that liars figure and figures lie, but when we started delving deeply into the data about women and alcoholism we found many figures that just didn't...well...figure!

   For example, when it comes to DUI's (or DWI's) the number of arrests never matches any data on the incidence of alcoholism among women as compared to men. The trends are certainly there;  in 1977 only 8% of DUI's were for women, and by 2007 that percentage had doubled to 15%.  But that still means that there are 85 DUI arrests for men for every 15 for women in a culture whose youngest generation (the ones proven to do most of the drinking) have a higher usage rate for alcohol among females than among males! We started digging to find out how this could happen.

   Here is what we found. The difference is not truly in the number of women who are stopped who could be arrested for DUI. The difference lies in factors involving the policeman making the decision about whether to arrest or not, and his personal biases!

   A study by the National Highway and Safety Administration (US DOT Report H5-801-230) shows clearly the real factors involved in Officer O'malley's decisions. Decisions like, does he put the cuffs on Grandma? How about that cute YUPPY on her way back from Happy Hour to her condo?

Here's the first quote from the DOT study.

   "The officer's personal use of alcohol is inversely related to his level of alcohol-related enforcement. Patrolmen who drink make significantly fewer arrests than those who do not, and those who drink frequently make significantly fewer arrests than those who use alcohol only occasionally."

 This says that all of us have a better chance of "skating" when stopped drunk if the officer himself is a drinker!

The study elaborates concerning women. It points out that most officers are male, and that they tend to decide not to arrest anybody who is less aggressive, also anybody who looks, acts, sounds, and smells like their wife, mother, grandmother, sister, or the girl next door!

Looking deeper into the stone, what is the most dangerous result of women not receiving the DUI's they clearly earn? It is this; dui's are red flags that alcoholism is a problem. Women, because they donnot receive them, are allowed to progress deeper into the disease of alcoholism before they show up on society's radar screen.

In future posts we will show the same denial among other professionals such as physicians, clergymen, judges and attorneys. When are we all going to stop denying and admit that our women are right now...in this generation...more often alcoholics and addicts than in any other gereration in the past? Put another way, do you really believe that the latest starlet with this problem is an exception?

 If you are a man living in denial about the alcoholism and/or addiction in a woman in your life, please get help. Call Al-Anon, a support group for family members of alcoholics at 1-888-4AL-ANON or visit www.al-anon.alateen.org right now!

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2. I need to stop viewing myself as a bad person trying to be good, and recognize that I am in reality a sick person trying to get well.

3. Fear is projecting within my own mind the bad things that I think may happen. This is not necessarily the truth. This is very probably NOT the way things really are!

4. I need to especially be on guard for the old sick methods so deeply engrained in me by other not-well people that allow me to continue self destructive ways. Rationalizations such as "...everybody does that," or "...I was just trying to be helpful," or "but I always had only the best of intentions" are no longer valid.

5. Our flaws did not come because of the addict. We already had those flaws long before we even met the addict.

6. We must discard the position that how we look when we suit up has any importance. What is important is that we suit up and show up...physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. This is a private process. It is between you, a single trusted other human being, and God.

7. Your personal inventory absolutely must be balanced between your weaknesses and you strengths. When you have been hurt a lot because you have gone too far in tolerating unacceptable behavior, you can pass an invisible line where you no longer have self respect. When businesses do inventories, the debts and liabilities portion is not the major focus. You have stock, credits receivable, reputation, and worth beyond what you know at this moment. In AA parlance,

"God don't make no junk!"

Find an Al-Anon meeting at 1-888-4-AL-ANON or www.al-anon.alateen.org

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   But let's focus here on the costs to the trust and integrity within a society. Psychologists can actually measure trust within a society. Dr. Daniel Goleman, in his great books on emotional intelligence tells us that the technical term for the overall trust level in a society is its social capital.  Social capital is the sum of the goodwill and trust among the members of a society. Social capital takes in ethical values, charitable contributions, volunteerism, and such intangibles as looking out for the welfare of your neighbors, or caring for a sick friend. Interestingly enough, the three countries that have been the most successful economically on the earth (The U.S.A., Germany, and Japan) also have the highest levels of social capital.

   What is the impact of addiction on social capital? To program people, personal honesty takes in a wide range, from what they call "cash register honesty," as opposed to the sort of personal honesty involved in taking all twelve steps. None of us, in our humanity, are capable of total honesty, but a great many people simply are not capable of a level of honesty as rigorous as that required by the twelve steps.

Our only real choice as recovering citizens is whether we will be part of the problem or part of the solution. If you are part of the problem because you are codependnt and enabling an alcoholic, get out there and ask for help...we all need for you to do it, because we are all paying a price for each other's addictions!

Ken P.

Call 1-888-4AL-ANON or check www.al-anonalateen.org

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