Blog Entries tagged 'enabling'

Please Stop Drinking Alcohol During Pregnancy!

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:00:00 +0100

<a href="http://www.cdc.gov/index.htm?s_cid=LinkToUs_003"><img src=&q [...]

How 'Ya Do. A Song for Honky-Tonkers

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

It all starts with the first date. There are always expectations as a man and a woman First meet. This nice country duet explorers the expectations most common TO men and women when they meet in a honky tonk.

How Ya Do.

[...]

Love At Any Price (A Song for Codependent Wives of Addicts and Alcoholics)

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Note; if you are not able to download the digital recording of this song, please enjoy the lyrics as a poem.

I attended an Al-Anon meeting one night led by a woman with a great "program." This lady led on the topic of setting boundaries. She struggled and struggled during her "lead" to describe how she felt when interacting with her husband.

That night I [...]

Why Grandma Doesn't Get A DUI

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0100

We have all heard that liars figure and figures lie, but when we started delving deeply into the data about women and alcoholism we found many figures that just didn't...well...figure!

For example, when it comes to DUI's (or DWI's) the number of arrests never matches any data on the incidence of alcoholism among women as compared to men. The trends are certainly there; in 1977 only 8% of DUI's were for women, and by 2007 that percentage had [...]

The Codependent Man

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Ken P. and Bob T writing on The Codependent Man.

C:\Documents and Settings\Ken & Jody\My Documents\My Music\Unknown Artist\Unknown Album (10-15-2007 2-06-22 PM)

Men today represent only 15% of Al-Anons, that is, only 15% of the people attending Al-Anon meetings nationwide trying to get help for themselves with their enabling behaviors with various alcoholic people are men! And yet within the current generation of alcohol and dru [...]

"Yes But..." Notes on Denial By Codependents of Alcoholics.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:00:00 +0100

We are three men with over 40 years of recovery in Al-Anon, a 12-step recovery program for the families of alcoholics. Please read this and forward it to anybody in your program community it may help. So many are so deeply damaged by years of living with addicts and/or alcoholics.

Yes But....

We love the oral tradition from AA that says..."everything after the word but is a lie."

Denial is the fa [...]

A Special Christman Letter from Dad

kenandjody@comcast.net — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:22:47 +0100

This letter is self explanatory. The father who headed up a large family afflicted with addiction and codependency sent his own special real life "Christmas Letter" to his family. Prepare to think and maybe cry a little.

A Special Christmas Letter from Dad to our whole family

When I received the usual Christmas note this year from Betty, my daughter-in-law, about how "perfect&qu [...]

Flavors of Codependency, I

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:03:29 +0100

Flavors of codependency

The super-denier codependent

The basic distinguishing characteristic of all the members in the addicted household is denial. Therefore, the first type of codependent is the type who has simply perfected denial. These people adoptevery excuse made by the alcoholic. They blame anybody else for the consequences inevitably suffered by the drinker. They even make up their own excuses. This [...]

Enablers for alcoholic women

kenandjody@comcast.net — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 08:22:47 +0100

For alcoholic women there is usually one primary enabler. This is typically a high functioning husband, a wealthy father, or a boss who spreads the work the alcoholic doesn't do among many other workers. In time these dysfunctional enablers are sucked into the alcoholism vortex because alcoholism is a disease that is progressive. It creeps into systems slowly overmany years. As the alcoholic gradually declines in functional capacity others, in terribly subtle ways, take [...]

How Much Does Alcoholism Cost Society?

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:00:00 +0100

Nobody escapes paying the price for alcoholism, drug addiction, and codependency in society. Even if you are fortunate enough not to be a drinker at a level that is diseased (about 10% of our population drinks enough to hamper their daily performance) or one of the four adults who are in line daily enabling one who is (i.e., 48% of all adults over the age of 18 were either directly impacted by a diseased drinker as they grew up, or are being effected at the moment), then you are paying fo [...]

The Do's and Dont's

kenandjody@comcast.net — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:10:06 +0100

Sometimes it is helpful just to have a set of directions from knowledgeable people when dealing with difficult issues. Here are a set of "Do's and Dont's" that are helping almost 1/2 million Al-Anons every week when they are read before meetings:

Do's

Do learn the facts about alcoholism

Do talk to someone who understands alcoholism

Do go to Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, or to an alcoholism center.

Do develop an attitude to match the facts

Enabling � What it is and how to stop

rthelen@sbcglobal.net — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 12:09:01 +0100

Early in our Al Anon and Nar-Anon recovery programs we hear about the concept of enabling behavior. This is usually defined as doing things for the addicted loved one to prevent them from experiencing a laundry list of consequences that occur because of their addiction. The result of this behavior is that the addict’s self esteem is damaged and their desire for recoverydiminished. They also come to resent us and we in turn become frustrated, angry and resentful becau [...]

Stop enabling!

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 08:16:19 +0100

The best outcome for all concerned happens when enablers stop considering addiction a "problem" and start considering addiction a FACT! A problem implies that there is a solution, and that immediately leads to the misconception that we can somehow find it. The truth is, the disease of addiction is as much a fact as cancer, and we cannot, obviously, find a solution for cancer.

Mostwould not even try...that is called acceptance. Until we enablers start practicing honest accepta [...]