Blog Entries tagged 'alcoholism'

Long Damned Gone. A Blues for Battered Wives.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 13 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Any man who attends Al-Anon meetings on a regular basis will hear stories of abuse told by women. as they effect a hard to look at vacant stare into the middle of the room. It is quiet at these times. Yes, we all learn that alcoholism is a disease, and we work hard at accepting that alcohol's first victim when it reaches the brain is usually judgement. We all know that this deadening of the humanizing chips leads to un [...]

Alone With You Sittin' Right Next To Me

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

My sponsor is working hard to expand me beyond the life I live now, which is almost exclusively "in my head." He tells me that I must transcend the barriers erected within me by decades of faulty programming for an American male and access the feeling part of me. In his words, "Ken, you can do all of the thinking you want, but until you start doing some feeling, you are limited. This is because it is the feeling part of you that 'drives your bus.'" [...]

The Bag of Pain

kenandjody@comcast.net — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Every addict and/or alcoholic wakes up every morning with this bag of pain hanging over his or her heart by a rope that is so tight that it only allows the sufferrer to take short shallow breaths. This pain is a 'mixed bag of goodies, but unlike a pinata that yields treats when it is broken, this one just sort of exudes misery like a foul vapor up into the nostrils.

Through the years the addict has, through trial and error, found ways to loosen the rope, and som [...]

Why Grandma Doesn't Get A DUI

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0100

We have all heard that liars figure and figures lie, but when we started delving deeply into the data about women and alcoholism we found many figures that just didn't...well...figure!

For example, when it comes to DUI's (or DWI's) the number of arrests never matches any data on the incidence of alcoholism among women as compared to men. The trends are certainly there; in 1977 only 8% of DUI's were for women, and by 2007 that percentage had [...]

Favorite Addictions of Codependent Men

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0100

What, me addicted?

Addictive behaviors work. They provide temporary relief for intense physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual agony. We co-dependents have our own favorite addictions.

To most of us, the word addiction brings to mind images of down and out souls whose lives are lost to drugs and alcohol. But that group actually represents only a fraction of the population whose lives are hampered by addiction. If we must do the numbers, it is g [...]

The Codependent Man

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Ken P. and Bob T writing on The Codependent Man.

C:\Documents and Settings\Ken & Jody\My Documents\My Music\Unknown Artist\Unknown Album (10-15-2007 2-06-22 PM)

Men today represent only 15% of Al-Anons, that is, only 15% of the people attending Al-Anon meetings nationwide trying to get help for themselves with their enabling behaviors with various alcoholic people are men! And yet within the current generation of alcohol and dru [...]

"Yes but..." Notes of denial for clients and their families.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:49:15 +0100

We are three men with over 40 years of recovery in Al-Anon, a 12-step recovery program for the families of alcoholics. Please read this and forward it to your clients, their families, your alumni, or any program community people it may help. So many are so deeply damaged by years of living with addicts and/or alcoholics.

Yes But....

We love the oral tradition from AAthat says..."everything after the word but is a lie."

&nbs [...]

"Doctor Shopping" by Alcoholics.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:26:47 +0100

Many of the men I have sponsored in Al-Anon have funny "war stories" about bungling attempts made by the medical profession while trying to deal with the lady alcoholics in our lives. The trick, from the gentleman physician's point of view, is how to treat the related health problems, keep her alive and coming back as a customer, and never actually identifythe problem as alcoholism.

My wife, (we'll call her Katy here) wrote her master's thesis [...]

Seven Do's and Don'ts for Sponsors

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:15:31 +0100

After sposoring over 30 men, I have been asked so many times to write out some suggestions that I finally did. Here they are, and I hopr that they help some of you in 12-step programs.

Ken P.

Seven Do's and Don't for Sponsors

1. Don't form an unhealthy enabling relationship. Stay detached. You are modeling healthy behavior here.

2. Don't allow every session to remain in t [...]

The Battle of the Sexes Al Anon Style

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:24:20 +0100

The Battle of the Sexes, Al Anon Style

Love is what happens to a man and a woman who don't know each other.

W. Somerset Maugham

The constant state of fear, if it is associatedwith the women in his life from the beginning, sometimes leads to men who turn anger toward all women. In exactly the same way that the woman in Al-Anon sometimes enjoys engaging in "man-bashing" sessions, the male Al-Ano [...]

Is it possible for men to have real friendships with other men today?

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:53:02 +0100

Real friendships...possible in America today? "After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends. And Jonathan made a special vow to be David's friend, and he sealed the pact by giving him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt."

1 Samuel 18:1, 3-4

Question; is it possible for men to have real friendships with other men in tod [...]

God Don't Make No Junk

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:29:31 +0100

We are three men with over 40 years of al-anon between us. Please help us help others...men or women, addict or codependent, who might have these diseases in their lives. One of the most common symptoms of our diseases is this problem with realizing that we have HUGE WORTH!

Here are seven points to ponder before you start ripping yourself up from the inside!

Please read on and forward to everybody you possible can!

A Special Christmas Letter from Dad to our whole family

When I received the usual Christmas note this year from Betty, my daughter-in-law, about how "perfect&qu [...]

How much does alcoholism cost society?

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:39:48 +0100

Nobody escapes paying the price for alcoholism, drug addiction, and codependency in society. Even if you are fortunate enough not to be a drinker at a level that is diseased (about 10% of our population drinks enough to hamper their daily performance) or one of the four adults who are in line daily enabling one who is (i.e., 48% of all adults over the age of 18 were either directly impactedby a diseased drinker as they grew up, or are being effected at the moment), then you are paying [...]

Alcoholism; the effects on masculinity

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:06:57 +0100

As part of my continuing education as a pharmaceutical salesman covering the hospitals in a major medical center, my company had arranged for a kind of preceptor ship at a teaching hospital in downtown Chicago. I was to "shadow" a third year internal medicine resident for two solid weeks. We had three reps assigned to each resident, and that little group of four worked together day and night. We were in the ER overnight, in the clinics seeing patients all day across the stree [...]

Why Do "Big Boys" Have Trouble Admitting Powerlessness?

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 08:02:53 +0100

We are three men from Texas with over 40 years in Al-Anon (which is pretty unique), and we wrote this post the day before Halloween last year without the slightest thought that so many would read it. It is accounting for over half of the "hits" on our blog now, which has 40 posts, so it is obvious that men REALLY DO have trouble admitting powerlessness!

Please help us fuel this fire and help many other men by forwarding this post to your clients, their [...]