Blog Entries tagged 'Al-Anon'

We Codependent Men, We Mute Coyotes

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 05 May 2008 00:00:00 +0100

We Codependent Men, We Mute Coyotes

By Ken P.

The coyote is a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton, with a gray wolf-skin stretched over it, a tolerably bushy tail that forever sags down, a furtive and evil eye, and a long, sharp face, with slightly lifted lip and exposed teeth. He has a general slinking expression all over. The coyote is a living, breathing alle [...]

The Bag of Pain

kenandjody@comcast.net — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Every addict and/or alcoholic wakes up every morning with this bag of pain hanging over his or her heart by a rope that is so tight that it only allows the sufferrer to take short shallow breaths. This pain is a 'mixed bag of goodies, but unlike a pinata that yields treats when it is broken, this one just sort of exudes misery like a foul vapor up into the nostrils.

Through the years the addict has, through trial and error, found ways to loosen the rope, and som [...]

Pregnant Women; PLEASE DON'T SWALLOW ETHYL ALCOHOL!

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

We have been screaming at the world through this blog that women are using more alcohol, drugs, and tobacco in the current generation than are men. This is a profound shift in social habit. Now, in an incredibly short period of time, that drinking is showing up in our culture in our most vulnerable age group...our newborns.

Today, as you read this, for the first time ever, fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) is the number one cause of retardati [...]

Why Grandma Doesn't Get A DUI

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0100

We have all heard that liars figure and figures lie, but when we started delving deeply into the data about women and alcoholism we found many figures that just didn't...well...figure!

For example, when it comes to DUI's (or DWI's) the number of arrests never matches any data on the incidence of alcoholism among women as compared to men. The trends are certainly there; in 1977 only 8% of DUI's were for women, and by 2007 that percentage had [...]

Favorite Addictions of Codependent Men

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:00 +0100

What, me addicted?

Addictive behaviors work. They provide temporary relief for intense physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual agony. We co-dependents have our own favorite addictions.

To most of us, the word addiction brings to mind images of down and out souls whose lives are lost to drugs and alcohol. But that group actually represents only a fraction of the population whose lives are hampered by addiction. If we must do the numbers, it is g [...]

The Codependent Man

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:00:00 +0100

Ken P. and Bob T writing on The Codependent Man.

C:\Documents and Settings\Ken & Jody\My Documents\My Music\Unknown Artist\Unknown Album (10-15-2007 2-06-22 PM)

Men today represent only 15% of Al-Anons, that is, only 15% of the people attending Al-Anon meetings nationwide trying to get help for themselves with their enabling behaviors with various alcoholic people are men! And yet within the current generation of alcohol and dru [...]

"The Affair," or How an alcoholic wife shifted her guilt

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 17:35:23 +0100

"The Affair"

Alcoholic wives resist every effort by an enablibng husband to escape the bondage of her extreme need for alcohol. One disturbing trend starts when he starts atending 12-step meetings for codependents, such as Al-Anon or Nar-A-Non. To her frustration, he seems to come home from these meetings whistling like he used to do. About thistime, she suddenly comes to the perfect solution to this conundrum; he is having an affair!

Yes, it all fits [...]

"Yes but..." Notes of denial for clients and their families.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:49:15 +0100

We are three men with over 40 years of recovery in Al-Anon, a 12-step recovery program for the families of alcoholics. Please read this and forward it to your clients, their families, your alumni, or any program community people it may help. So many are so deeply damaged by years of living with addicts and/or alcoholics.

Yes But....

We love the oral tradition from AAthat says..."everything after the word but is a lie."

&nbs [...]

Seven Do's and Don'ts for Sponsors

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 15:15:31 +0100

After sposoring over 30 men, I have been asked so many times to write out some suggestions that I finally did. Here they are, and I hopr that they help some of you in 12-step programs.

Ken P.

Seven Do's and Don't for Sponsors

1. Don't form an unhealthy enabling relationship. Stay detached. You are modeling healthy behavior here.

2. Don't allow every session to remain in t [...]

What it is like to live after recovery.

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 08:52:43 +0100

I will illustrate the cumulative effect of the Al-Anon way of living by putting into words the way I live my life on a typical day.

A good night of sleep that repairs the cells in your body and integrates the memories in your brain from yesterday's experience leads to a high energy morning. But first you enjoy slowly awakening withthat delicious fuzzy warm feeling you remember when awakening as a child. You share some time with your beautiful, caring, sensi [...]

Laughter II "If Momma Aint Happy..."

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 15:14:27 +0100

People who are wired inside to manipulate have some sort of an agenda with every topic. If you tell them with excitement that you are going to buy a new car tomorrow, they might answer with a subtle reference to the one they drive that is obviously more expensive then the one you are buying. Or maybe they start the conversation feigning an interest in you with a question such as "...how is your business doing?" Then, after you get out only one sentence, they launch into a lon [...]

Laughter I. When is the last time you

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 14:54:21 +0100

Ask yourself this question; how long has it been since you totally "lost it" to laughter? Do you sometimes go an entire day without laughing...a week?

Laughter feels good. Laughter comes from a spirit that is light and free. Why don't we laugh more? Is it because laughter requires some loss of control? Is it because you cannot laugh without beingin the present? Is it because you just don't see anything to laugh about right now?

&n [...]

The Battle of the Sexes Al Anon Style

kenandjody@comcast.net — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:24:20 +0100

The Battle of the Sexes, Al Anon Style

Love is what happens to a man and a woman who don't know each other.

W. Somerset Maugham

The constant state of fear, if it is associatedwith the women in his life from the beginning, sometimes leads to men who turn anger toward all women. In exactly the same way that the woman in Al-Anon sometimes enjoys engaging in "man-bashing" sessions, the male Al-Ano [...]

12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

kenandjody@comcast.net — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 10:06:30 +0100

12 SYMPTOMS OF A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

When hurting people first come into a 12-step program, they are seldom walking into the meeting for the purpose of having a spiritual awakening. Most, men and women alike, come to programs such as AA, Al-Anon, Nar-A-Non, or Adult Children of Alcoholics searching for relief from the pain and chaos visited upon them and theirloved ones by the co-diseases of addiction and codependency. But these diseases are diseases of the spirit first, an [...]

Is it possible for men to have real friendships with other men today?

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:53:02 +0100

Real friendships...possible in America today? "After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends. And Jonathan made a special vow to be David's friend, and he sealed the pact by giving him his robe, tunic, sword, bow, and belt."

1 Samuel 18:1, 3-4

Question; is it possible for men to have real friendships with other men in tod [...]

God Don't Make No Junk

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:29:31 +0100

We are three men with over 40 years of al-anon between us. Please help us help others...men or women, addict or codependent, who might have these diseases in their lives. One of the most common symptoms of our diseases is this problem with realizing that we have HUGE WORTH!

Here are seven points to ponder before you start ripping yourself up from the inside!

Please read on and forward to everybody you possible can!

A Special Christmas Letter from Dad to our whole family

When I received the usual Christmas note this year from Betty, my daughter-in-law, about how "perfect&qu [...]

Flavors of Codependency, III

kenandjody@comcast.net — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:00:00 +0100

The Non-existent codependent

There are three "flavors" or types of codependency identified by professionals in the field of addiction. The first two were identified and described in two earlier posts. These are, in brief, what I called "the codependent in charge," and the "super-denier."

The third type of codependent is the most pitiful. This person needs somebody else in the scapegoat-blustering- abu [...]

Flavors of Codependency, I

kenandjody@comcast.net — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 09:03:29 +0100

Flavors of codependency

The super-denier codependent

The basic distinguishing characteristic of all the members in the addicted household is denial. Therefore, the first type of codependent is the type who has simply perfected denial. These people adoptevery excuse made by the alcoholic. They blame anybody else for the consequences inevitably suffered by the drinker. They even make up their own excuses. This [...]

12 Rationalizations for a Typical High Functioning Alcoholic

kenandjody@comcast.net — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:19:23 +0100

My first post about high functioning alcoholics dated November 1 was so popular that I decided to follow-through with my promise to write others. The following is taken from literature provided by Recovery Ministries of the Episcopal Church, Inc., and was written by Janee S. Parnegg, CAC.

You can access more information at the following:<strong>

info@episcopalrecovery.org

and/or

http://www.episcopalrecovery.org [...]