I've never been to a NARANON meeting mostly because of fear that I would go and somehow be talked out of staying with my fiance (at the time). I'd heard all kinds of negative things about these meetings and that it's all about families and spouses complaining and hating life because of the addict in their lives. Although over time, I have met several people involved in NARANON and ALANON who have been the complete opposite of what I'd heard, I still haven't been to a meeting. Granted, my fiance (husband now) has been sober for quite some time and I thankfully haven't had to deal with the stresses and pressures of feeling like I was going crazy living with an active addict, but of course I still remember. And when I do revisit this ugly memory, it bothers me to some pretty bad nightmares sometimes. I have been doing a good job (I think) with remaining very supportive of my husband, never ever blaming him for relapses, and trying to do all I can to maintain a healthy, safe environment showing him daily that I trust him and don't hold the past against him. I guess my question is whether or not this periodic darkness will ever go away, or do I have to learn to live with it, or go to meetings specifically for this purpose? I've been maintaining and it's really not so bad at all, but I guess I'm kind of ready to literally put it all behind me. Is that possible?