I was a bartender for several years and certainly, I've seen my share of alcoholics come and go. While all cases of addiction truly sadden me, one case weighs on my heart in a big way.
While I worked with the rest of the staff behind the bar and shared occasional shots and cocktails with patrons, our restaurant manager - a great guy who is amazingly sweet and special - was crumbling before our eyes.
Every evening, at the end of his shift, he would have a Belvedere on the rocks with a twist, and over the months, the glass gradually got bigger and the ice, lesser. No one ever worried about it though. "Okay, well today was crazy. I'd want a stiffer drink after the drama too". In retrospect, making these excuses for him was only an attempt to deny the blatantly obvious.
And after he cried his eyes out to my husband (fiancee then) about his life being out of control and feeling helpless, he still didn't go to treatment, claiming that he would take some time off and get his mind together again. I believed it, my fiancee didn't, but still didn't push it, and for a while it seemed like he was in fact doing better.
Shortly thereafter, we left the area, got married, and had a baby, all of which removed us from the bar scene completely for a while. But when we returned a couple of weeks ago to see old friends and introduce our beautiful daughter, we heard that our good friend, the restaurant manager was no longer where we had last seen him.
The last word we heard was that he was fired from his job for some kind of very vaguely described insubordination, but was opening his own restaurant in a very nice part of town. Sounded great to us and we couldn't wait to see him realizing his life-long dream of owning his own restaurant and doing what he loved, and what he did so well.
Well, as it turned out, he did open his own restaurant, with other investors and owners, of course, but his dream finally coming to fruition was not the triumphant accomplishment we had all hoped for him. Within a month of the restaurant opening, he was found by the morning crew, passed out behind the bar after what can only be assumed to have been a night-long drinking binge. Needless to say, he doesn't have that job any more and just like that, his dream has come and gone all too quickly.
And no one has heard from him since....
I've seen good people - great people suffer with addiction and it's heartbreaking every time, but this particular person and his affliction in an environment where he thrived, in fact shone so brightly gives me tremendous trouble. It was the environment that he loved, that brought him so much success, that also fueled his addiction that ultimately brought him down to what I can only hope is his bottom - so that he can hopefully begin a climb back up.
It has been weighing so heavily on my heart and I just thought I might as well share it as I try to gather the words to say to him when I call to re-offer my friendship and support.

What a heart breaking story. I pray you and your husbands' interest in him will give him the hand up he needs. Sometimes all you need is love. My prayers are with you and the lovely person who has lost himself.