As a child of alcoholics I accepted others drinking as the norm. Although I did not pass the sins of my upbringing on my own child, who is now 30 years old I do not drink and neither does my daughter, but her father, my ex-husband does. Guess that's one reason I'm not married to him anymore. He also did cocaine back in the early 80's. I did it out of peer pressure, never liking the stuff, went along with the crowd. Until my ex started seeing and hearing people and things that were not there. That was it for me. I flushed the stuff down the toilet and rebuilt my life and circle of friends. He sold the stuff and it was shoved under my nose constantly. I just said NO. I divorced him only to end up back with him because of the child. I did not allow drugs int he house. He kept his product in a storage unit. That was 26 years ago. I finally divorced him again and left town to get away from him. Then 8 years ago he 'turned' my daughter on to cocaine along with her boyfriend. Another crack addict was born. Not my daughter, her boyfriend. To this day he struggles with his addiction. She's moved on. I can only say by my example my daughter was able to relate to the 'straight' parent who set the example by just saying NO.Alcohol, pills, cocaine, crack all addictive drugs with alcohol as a gateway drug since it is legal and obtainable. Myself, married four times, three husbands, all drank and two did cocaine and crack. I do none of the above so addicts love me, they don't have to share their drugs

It's so important for parents to set the right example. I commend your daughter on her strength, and I commend you on making the choices you did. It's great that you're reaching out. I suggest you also begin posting to the Family Support forum. There are two wonderful people set up to moderate those forums, both family members of alcoholics/addicts with years and years of experience in Alanon.

I've already stated that the sins of my parents were not passed on by me. I did not mention I had a sister who lived by the bottle. Produced two children with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and drank at least a fifth of vodka a day. Well, she lived by the bottle and last night she died by her bottle at 57 years of age. All three of her children are either addicts (2) or alcoholics(1). I hope her passing will wake at least one of them up because the one that drinks is raising my two great nephews. May she rest in peace and the demons that drove her go to hell.

Oh how sad! My condolences. Our hearts and prayers are with you. One can only hope that if anything good can come of this, that would be it - that others can learn from her mistakes and not make the same ones.

A sponsor of mine once asked me if I knew the difference between intelligence and wisdom (and like most questions of that type from a sponsor it was rhetorical). He told me "Intelligence is learning from your mistakes" .... "Wisdom on the other hand, is learning from the mistakes of OTHERS."

We can only hope that her death to this disease, and your willingness to share about it, helps others realize the too often deadly reality of addiction and alcoholismd

I also lost a sister to the disease, but it wasn't really a surprise. She had also gotten into street drugs and I think she over-dosed on PCP or at least that it was I remember them telling us. It was one of those phone calls I always expected. I know thestain's was unexpected and I am so very sorry.

The sad part with my sister was that I was unable to have a relationship with her for several before she died. It just wasn't possible. Even with everyone around, I made a point to spend time alone with her in the hospital, to try to have some closure. The nurses told me they really felt that the patients could hear. You have to remember that she was brain dead, so I don't know if it was just an involuntary reaction or what, but when I was talking to her, a tear did fall down her cheek. I'll never know. I know she loved me when her mind was right.

Carla

Thanks Carla. I guess I was lucky because after being estranged from my sister for two and a half years we made up last Christmas. I've had ten months of closeness. Talking everyday on the phone at at least weekly visits. A week ago today was the last time I spoke to her and the last words we said were I Love You. Chris