Enablers
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![](http://www.treatment-centers.net/components/com_community/assets/user_thumb.png "Lovelife::As a mother of an addict, I have worked for years to understand the disease of "Addiction". I have gone to many programs held at each "Rehab" when my loved one was there. I read every book and article recommended. I continue to attend meetings. Yet I am faced with painful questions... How can I forgive myself for being such an enabler? Will I ever be able to do so? How can I stop being as codependent as I have been for so many years, now that I recognize the traits in myself? This was the only life I knew how to live. Finally, will I ever be able to not worry that today may be the day my loved one will relapse and die? I understand that the Disease of Addiction is a lifetime illness. Will I, as a family member, suffer for the rest of my life,too? Somewhere, somehow, we'll both find a new way of living. Looking for help, and answers...<br/><hr noshade=\"noshade\" height=\"1\"/><img style=\"vertical-align:middle;padding: 0px 4px;\" src=\"http://www.treatment-centers.net/components/com_community/assets/status_offline.png\" />Offline | <img style=\"vertical-align:middle;padding: 0px 4px;\" src=\"http://www.treatment-centers.net/components/com_community/assets/default-favicon.png\" />1 friend"){kind=small}
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Enablers
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Thursday, 16 June 2011
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We cannot be their treatment center and we've learned that love doesn't conquer addiction.
For all of us who love an addict and have enabled them because we don't want to kick them out on the street, leave them to their own devices, or take their children from them, this is a place for support, encouragement, empowerment and growth.
I hope this forum will allow all of us struggling with loving an addict to move forward in a healthy way for ourselves and our loved ones.
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Thank you for your comment. It makes me feel better! However, I still remember many of the things I did in the past, and they make me sad. Some families will go to 'crazy' lengths to keep a loved one from going to an unsafe place. I know I always did. That said, professionals tell us not to enable. It is difficult to know at the exact moment when a decision must be made, whether your loved one will survive if you do not help him.
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