Posted by: KenP
on Jul 07, 2011
Tagged in:
success ,
sponsorship ,
Sponsoring men ,
social capital ,
sobriety ,
shutting down ,
resentment ,
recovery community ,
persistance ,
no excuses ,
never quit ,
Men ,
Meetings ,
Functional Alcoholic ,
family problems ,
enabling ,
drugs and alcohol ,
drugs ,
drug abuse ,
drinking problem ,
battle of the sexes ,
alcoholism ,
alcoholics ,
alcohol abuse ,
alcohol ,
Al-Anon ,
addicts ,
addiction support ,
addiction recovery ,
addiction help ,
addiction ,
addicted children ,
12-step
Stop Helping Them To Death!
Nothing changes until something changes. If one member of the family changes, that changes the whole family dynamic. As a practicing codependent you can make the changes necessary to allow the other (s) in your family suffering from addiction. The way you do this is; allow them to suffer!
Stop the little things first. Stop picking up after them. Stop preparing lunches in advance if you are doing that and they could be doing that for themselves. Stop “taking up the slack” every time the addict does not fulfill his or her obligations to the family. Yes, you will catch some flack, and yes you will have to experience the discomfort of not having those chores completed. Everybody will. But do not allow the flack to pull you back into the helping role.
Next, openly ask the addict for help with larger issues, such as managing the family finances, doing the “running around” to places like the laundry, the grocery store, the post office, and the bank. In my case, I picked up eight bounced checks one weekend after working out of town all week that my now X-wife had written. I then told her that I was never going to do that again, AND I DIDN’T! Yes, it was a hard week after I opened a new checking account the following Monday morning in only my name, but she learned that I had set a boundary, and no matter how much screaming, silent treatment, dirty looks, or jawing she gave me, I would never spend another Saturday picking up her bounced checks!
Posted by: MyTherapyJournal.com
on Apr 20, 2009
Tagged in:
trust ,
treatment-centersnet ,
Step 1 ,
Sponsoring men ,
Spiritual awakening ,
society ,
social capital ,
sobriety ,
shutting down ,
Respect ,
rehabs ,
rehab facility ,
recovery community ,
psychology ,
Nar-A-Non ,
Men ,
Meetings ,
Masculinity ,
Isolation ,
Hero child ,
health insurance ,
Functional Alcoholic ,
fear ,
enabling ,
drugs ,
drug treatment centers ,
drug treatment ,
drug rehab ,
Dos and Donts ,
directory ,
Christian Treatment Centers ,
Christian treatment ,
Christian ,
Childhood roles ,
centers ,
Boundaries ,
battle of the sexes ,
AODA ,
alcoholism treatment ,
alcoholism ,
alcoholics ,
Alcoholic women ,
alcohol ,
Al-Anon ,
addicts ,
addiction treatment ,
addiction recovery ,
addiction ,
addicted children ,
abortion ,
12-step
WHO AND WHAT IS MYTHERAPYJOURNAL.COM ???
I would like to invite your patients and you to use MyTherapyJournal.com, the only therapy-oriented online journaling tool. You should consider this online service, as we continue to sign up new treatment centers who are providing this innovative service to their patients. I would like to share how the scientific proven benefits of journaling can be a great benefit to set you apart from other treatment centers, as well a provide an impactful tool to your patients/clients.
PLEASE TAKE A TOUR AT:
www.mytherapyjournal.com/take_a_tour
3 key benefits for patients:
1. My Journal Entries - Patients create their personal Journal and start writing daily feelings, thoughts, dreams and hopes in a customized and password-protected journal.
2. My Progress Questions and Progress Graph - Patients visualize their progress with a user-friendly, personalized graph and start tracking their journey. Patients select from pre-set progress questions relating to distinctive categories or simply create their own in collaboration with the therapist in less than 5 minutes.
3. Affordable and secure online service based on the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy, which is revolutionizing therapy via the online medium.
Awards to date:
To date, MyTherapyJournal has won several entrepreneurial competitions and articles have been published in Forbes, Daily Business Review, Psychology Today, CNN, Miami Herald, and more. Additionally, the American Psychological Association (APA) gave permission for MyTherapyJournal to launch at their prestigious annual conference back in 2007.
Members to date:
Today, MyTherapyJournal counts over 2,500 members including therapists, clinics, treatment centers, soldiers, health organizations, and individuals seeking self-help. To name a few clients, MyTherapyJournal is the exclusive provider of online journaling for the Williamsville Wellness Center, non-gambler.com, among others.
3 distinctive ways to buy memberships:
1) Treatment Centers: You can provide the patient/client with a membership upon arrival. Upon completion of program patient/client has the option to extend membership at their own expense. Clinicians have been using this tool for keeping track of matters related to their sessions with patients as well.
2) Individual Membership purchased by Therapist for Patient/Client: You can buy individual memberships for patients/clients. You can offer this service as part of your consultancy fees and treatment costs. This option allows you to create a username and password for your patient/client and thus have full access. It also allows you to be able to use our tool during sessions from your own office. For some lower functioning clients or for people of lesser means, this would ensure that the value of our services would ensue.
3) Individual Membership purchased by Patient/Client: You can recommend to a patient/client to buy an individual membership on their own at standard membership pricing starting as low as $7.95 per month - At this point, a patient/client has the option to provide you with full access to their information or not. The patient/client can grant you full access by simply sharing his or her username and password with you, at which point you will be able to view and change anything you want (e.g. create a new category for the patient/client to track).
Why Journal? The Science of Journaling
Over the last 20 years, the journal has been empirically shown to make therapy more effective and to diminish symptoms of depression, anxiety, panic, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress, and many other disorders, even for those who aren't seeing a mental health practitioner. Likewise, its demonstrated benefits include better physical health (i.e. blood pressure, immune functioning) and an overall improved mood.
Why is My Therapy Journal .com the #1 Source for Online Journaling?
MTJ is the first-ever, therapy-oriented online journaling tool. It provides the most private and secure venue available for both individuals and organizations who wish to not only journal, but also track progress of personally set goals using graphing software based on cognitive behavioral therapy. It presents you a journal that talks back and promises to aid anyone desiring to grow.
What Are The Benefits of Journaling?:
Journaling has been scientifically proven to provide a host of health benefits including: decreasing the symptoms of asthma, arthritis, and other health conditions; improving cognitive functioning; strengthening the immune system, preventing a host of illnesses; counteracting many of the negative effects of stress. Furthermore, anyone who journals will tell you that it "just feels good."
I'll bet you write (or word process) daily. Journaling (or keeping letters or diaries) is an ancient tradition, one that dates back to at least 10th century Japan. Successful people throughout history have kept journals. Presidents have maintained them for posterity; other famous figures for their own purposes. Oscar Wilde, 19th century playwright, said: "I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train."
Who is Using Our Online Journaling and Progress Graph Tool?
MTJ Is For...
HEALTH PROVIDERS:
Treatment Centers =
Some of these include university and college psychological centers of both large and small institutions. Centers dedicated to specific populations such as people with HIV+ and AIDS, people with disabilities, LGTBQ individuals, survivors of trauma or abuse, and/or members of AA, NA, Al-Anon, Alateen, etc.
Hospitals and Health Clinics =
Some of these include clinics for people recovering from an addiction such as heroine, alcohol, gambling, sex, or even overspending. Hospital departments dealing with everything from trauma, chronic illness, and chronic pain to treatment adherence, post-operation recovery, and grief due to loss of a loved one.
Insurance Organizations =
Insurance companies utilize our tool as part of health packages. These sometimes accompany treatment with mental health or medical professionals, and sometimes they don't. It also helps clients keep track of how effective different treatments have been over a long period of time.
Mental Health Providers =
Both the journaling and progress tracking components of MTJ are invaluable tools for mental health providers. It not only allows for the provider to have observable results of the treatment at hand, but it also allows the treatment to remain ongoing through the week, even in the provider's absence. Psychodynamically-oriented therapists use MTJ for the journaling component of it whereas CBT-oriented therapists use it for the progress tracking graph. Psychiatrists use it to help clients track symptoms and how certain medications might be affection these. Life coaches appear to utilize both the journaling and graphing components with their clients. Family and couple therapists also do this, and find themselves tailoring the graphing questions so that all members in the family track the same behavior and/or emotion simultaneously.
Military =
The number of American and Canadian troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan is enormous, and the population of them with PTSD is as well. Both the journaling's ability to allow for clients to create chronological narratives of their experience and the emotions associated with them, and the progress graph's ability to have them observe themselves objectively, prove to be invaluable components of treatment and re-adjustment into civilian life.
Health Research Institutions =
Pharmaceutical companies aiming at having their medications tested by human participants use MTJ as a simple, and cost-effective way of tracking the results of their medication on any target symptom or population. Data is collected by each participant's self-report and is delivered already graphed and mapped out chronologically. Participants also use the other benefits of MTJ and feel empowered by their ability to track their own reactions to the new medication.
INDIVIDUALS:
One group of people who are using MTJ are individuals who simply love journaling and having their journals communicate with them. Adolescents, college students, stay-home parents, young professionals, insightful adults, and techno-savvy grandparents. Basically, anyone who is self-curious, who feels relief in expressing themselves through writing, and/or who enjoys seeing concrete evidence of their progress via our Progress Graph.
Another group of people are those undergoing painful, confusing, difficult, and/or daunting times in their lives. It also for people living with the reality of having emotional, physical, mental, and/or cognitive difficulties. This is everyone who suffers from depression, anxiety, panic, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress, obsessive-compulsions, mania, panic, and/or who has symptoms of any mental disorder. Some of these individuals are receiving some service from a mental health provider, and some are not. For some people, MTJ compliments their work with a professional, and for others, seeking professional help is something they are not at all interested in.
Finally, another group of individuals are those who fall in both the above groups, in some way or another. We believe most of our clients are in this third group. Life is usually ever-changing, and our states of being are too.
Anyone who is uncomfortable with the idea that a written journal might be ever found by their parents, siblings, housemates, roommates, boyfriend/girlfriend, colleges or strangers.
About the Team:
Alexis Saccoman - Chief Psychology Consultant and Co-founder
A graduate of Brown University, Alexis is a clinical psychology trainee pursuing a doctorate in clinical psychology (Psy.D.) at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. Alexis has a Masters degree in clinical psychology and holds a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through his professional and volunteer activities, he has clinical and hospital experience working with groups including adolescents and geriatric inpatients, children with pervasive developmental disorders, HIV+ terminal patients, first-year college students, and families. He has also served as a trilingual medical interpreter and court mediator. He is currently in practicum with a caseload of ten clients (ages 18-50) - all endorsing Axis I diagnoses - of diverse ethnic, S.E.S., and LGTB backgrounds. With his dual passion for psychology and facilitating people's potential for growth, he especially enjoys his role as a mentor to younger generations.
Rodolfo Saccoman - CEO and Co-founder
A graduate of the Cornell University School of Hotel Administration, with an MBA degree from University of Miami. Rodolfo has dedicated his career at understanding people's dreams and developing proven online presences to embrace user's needs and wants. Like his brother Alexis, he has lived in five countries and developed a keen appreciation and respect for different cultures and human kind's search for peace and compassion. Both brothers recognize the importance and potential of communication in helping people attain their goals and live happier lives.
Noel Elman - Chief Scientist and Co-founder
Currently pursuing post-doctoral studies at MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology), Noel earned a Bachelor of Science and Master's of Science in electrical engineering at Cornell University and has a Ph.D. from Tel Aviv University. His research focuses on the development of implantable Bio-MOEMS (Biological and Micro-Opto-Electro-Mechanical-Systems) devices for drug-delivery systems and cancer monitoring. A scientist, he is also a fervent believer in exploring your inner-self to achieve well-being.
I CAN OFFER YOU SPECIALS BESIDES WHAT IS ON THE WEBSITE! ASK ME HOW!?!
For any and all questions please contact me at:
Tim Nicola
Sales Manager
MyTherapyJournal.com
Email:
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
Direct: 561-860-3073
Posted by: Chez Wise
on Feb 24, 2009
Tagged in:
Respect ,
recovery ,
Nar-A-Non ,
Men ,
Functional Alcoholic ,
enabling ,
drugs ,
Dos and Donts ,
Boundaries ,
AODA ,
alcoholism ,
alcoholics ,
Alcoholic women ,
alcohol ,
Al-Anon ,
addicts ,
addiction recovery ,
addiction
For decades we have listened to the “experts” tell us recovery cannot happen until the addict or alcoholic hits bottom. Bottom for most alcoholics and addicts is jail, institutions, or death. Are you willing to wait?
No one, absolutely no one does anything without a reason or with out leverage of some sort. The same holds true for addiction of any kind. If there is no reason to get clean and sober, they won’t. If nothing ever happens that is all that bad, they won’t. Many just keep lowering their standards. In our current economic down turn, we will see more and more individuals falling deeper into their addictions. The truly sad part is the family will watch, not having a clue what to do, or the resources for solution.
If this is you, there are a lot of things you can do. First and foremost take an inventory of how you are adapting to the addict or alcoholic. How are you lowering your standard of living to accommodate them? For instance, some addicts and alcoholics tend to live in filth. They do not do the dishes, clean the bathroom or kitchen, and even their laundry will be piled sky high waiting for someone else to do it. Look around your house. How are they participating in the cleanliness of the nest? Then there is the other half that are up at three a.m. cleaning everything under the sun. How are they interrupting your sleep?
Here is a chance for you to take the blinders off and really get honest with yourself. If you find you are making excuses, such as “that is just the way they are”. Stop it! If you are participating in Al-anon and using the excuse, “I just detach from it”. Stop it! This is not 1951, the rules have changed. Our knowledge and experience has taught us a lot over the last 50 plus years. Detach emotionally, but do not accept even for a moment.
Posted by: faye23
on Aug 27, 2008
Tagged in:
treatment-centersnet ,
treatment centers ,
treatment center ,
treatment ,
Spiritual awakening ,
sobriety ,
rehabs ,
rehab ,
recovery community ,
recovery ,
psychology ,
Isolation ,
Functional Alcoholic ,
drugs ,
drug treatment centers ,
drug treatment ,
drug rehab ,
Boundaries ,
alcoholics ,
Alcoholic women ,
alcohol ,
addicts ,
addiction treatment ,
addiction recovery ,
addiction
MIDDLE AGED BABY BOOMERS AND ADDICTION
A woman enters my office disheveled, thin, mid forties, with hollow eyes. It is as if the sparkle in her eyes ceased to exist a very long time ago. She tells me she has been drinking and is using methamphetamines. I am not surprised to hear this because lately my practice has been filled with middle aged baby boomers seeking help for their serious addictions. Whether it is alcohol, cocaine, crack, methamphetamines, pain killers, heroine, or smoking marijuana, many have crossed the line into addiction. Their lives have become unmanageable and they have lost their ability to control their use. Some believe they can just cut down, but as addiction specialists, we know it is impossible once you have crossed that invisible line into dependency. One of their defense mechanisms is "denial" so they can still continue their love affair with drugs or alcohol. Addiction is the only disease that tells them in the most insidious of ways, "I don't have a problem or disease." It can be very difficult treating someone who doesn't think they have a problem. However, on some level this particular woman who landed in my office may already know an issue exists, but can't bare to admit it.
So what brings this middle aged woman into see me with such desperation on her face? Her husband has told her if she doesn't stop using, he will leave her and take the children with him. She tells me she can't imagine not using meth. "It gives me energy to deal with my four kids and keeps my weight down." I am sure it might be hard to believe that someone in middle age, a soccer mom and a wife feels this way. It is no longer teenagers or urban minorities taking the lead, although there still is an epidemic of young addicts out there. These all American business men, stay at home moms, career women and even the elderly are filling the treatment centers and therapists offices and some, never make it. In a recent study, it was revealed that drug deaths from illicit drug over doses had risen 800 per cent since 1980. One of the fastest growing abuses is pain killers with suburbia filled with these individuals. It has long been known that there are many reasons for the abuse, but for the middle aged the reasons may be not only the genetic predisposition, but as a buffer to numb the pain of divorce, un-employment, an empty nest, retirement, trauma or illness. Depression may be one of the biggest culprits to addiction, with it being the highest amongst the ages of 45 to 60.
The "free love" generation of "sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll" has taken a turn; many would have never expected drug addiction to be their legacy. Often long standing drug abusers find when the marijuana stops working; they often go to stronger drugs. For some it is losing their children, a job, a spouse, or homelessness that leads them to seek help.
Posted by: KenP
on Jul 09, 2008
People living by the 12-step life-style recognize that our fifth step is one of the most powerful tools for recovery. It reads;
"We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
Just as a review for you non-steppers, by the time we reach this step we have already admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, made the decision to turn our life and our will over to that power, and meticulously written out a thorough inventory of both our faults and our assets.
I always tell my sponsees who are having trouble starting their fifth step that there must be at least one of the entities in this step that you do not trust yet...either God, yourself, or another human being. Once you figure out which you don't trust and ask God to put that trust back in you, then you can take this step.
Posted by: KenP
on Feb 16, 2008
My first post about high functioning alcoholics dated November 1 was so popular that I decided to follow-through with my promise to write others. The following is taken from literature provided by Recovery Ministries of the Episcopal Church, Inc., and was written by Janee S. Parnegg, CAC.
You can access more information at the following:<
Posted by: KenP
on Oct 31, 2007
"He/she doesn't look like an alcoholic!"
by Janee S. Parnegg, CAC
Recovery Ministries of the Episcopal Church, Inc.
Toll free 866-306-1542
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
www.episcopalrecovery.org
The functional alcoholic is a: husband, wife, doctor, father
Posted by: KenP
on Oct 29, 2007
Tagged in:
treatment center ,
Step 1 ,
Sponsoring men ,
society ,
social capital ,
rehabs ,
rehab facility ,
rehab ,
recovery community ,
recovery ,
Men ,
Meetings ,
Masculinity ,
Functional Alcoholic ,
fear ,
enabling ,
costs ,
battle of the sexes ,
alcoholism ,
alcoholics ,
Alcoholic women ,
alcohol ,
Al-Anon ,
addiction recovery ,
12-step
Why Do "Big Boys" Have Trouble Admitting Powerlessness?
We are three men from Texas with collectively over 40 years in Al-Anon, a 12-step program for those living with an alcoholic. This is a totally unique situation. Even today, only 15% of Al-Anons are men.
We wrote this post the day before Halloween last year (2007) without the slightest thought that so many would read it. It is accounting for about 11% of the "hits" on our blog now, which has more than 140 posts, so it is obvious that men REALLY DO have trouble admitting powerlessness!
Please help us help many other men by forwarding this post to any man you know who would find it sooooooo difficult to admit powerlessness over anything!
Many thanks,
Ken P., Bob T., and Scott B.
The reality of the culture in America today is that men are treated differently from women, starting in early childhood. We are taught the value of self-sufficiency. Throughout our childhoods we are in millions of subtle ways told that we are to be "big boys."
One aside needs to happen here. There is a profound generational distinction that
Copyright © - All Rights Reserved